Dragon Dads

My friend Scott Hodge posted this great thought on his blog a couple days ago.  Scott tragically lost his dad a couple of short years ago.  Scott’s dad was a pastor in Aurora and actually performed the marriage ceremony for my sister and her husband in 1997 – even though Scott and I didn’t meet till last year.

Anyway, my dad walked out of my life on May 14, 1987.  He wasn’t a great father before that, but he was absent after that day in May.  I have only seen him a few brief times since, as he currently roams Southern California.

The same day I saw Scott’s post, I was thinking about my own dad… how sad it was that Scott lost his dad, but thankful that he had such a great model for so many years.  Thinking about my own father-loss and how God has seen to take care of me made me ponder how many people either lost their fathers or never knew them.  That’s when I stumbled upon Don Miller’s newest book To Own A Dragon.  He talks about how God fathers those of us to don’t have a father around to affirm us, guide us in our own life skills, and generally do fatherly things.  It is a great read, particularly for guys without fathers.  Don explains that he doesn’t think father-loss is harder on men than women, but that since he is writing from personal example, fellas would probably glean more from this book.  He comments on the men’s movement – particularly how so many people try to define manhood as having this quality or that quality – when in reality, manhood is about DNA and anatomy – if God made you male, you are a man, because God has spoken, and that is that!  No bar to reach, mark to hit – if God made you male, you are a man whether you had a father figure or not.  So many of the guys my age still trying to win the approval of a MIA dad could benefit from this great book.

Anyway – thanks Scott for a great post, and thanks to Don for a wonderful book.  As I am the father to 3 sons, I am always wondering what it would be like to have a Dad to ask questions of, seek guidance from, or be affirmed by.  To Own A Dragon helped me on that journey.


One thought on “Dragon Dads

  1. Hey Chris,

    I am one of the fortunate ones. My Dad has been the greatest example of what my Heavenly Father is to me; loving, caring, he still watches over me at 47 yrs. old:) I am sorry that you didn’t have this experience, but what a victory you will have with your boys…and I have seen you with them and know how much they mean to you…I’ve always been impressed that you have introduced yourself on your blog as
    husband and father first before anything else.

    As my parents get older, my mission field is caring for them. My Dad, bless him, at 82 is still a productive scientist at Argonne Nat’l Lab., my Mom however has Alzheimers and kidney failure…she too lost her father through a tragic accident before she was born, and she asks me about him all the time. I only know that he was an immigrant from Lithuania, a policeman, and a violinist. I know that he loved his family very much, so the only comfort my Mom understands is that she will have the privilege of meeting him one day after her time in this life is over. I pray that by God’s intervention, you won’t have to wait so long.

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