A great quote about men in the church, from one of my favorite books, Wild At Heart:
"Christianity, as it currently exists, has done some terrible
things to men. When all is said and done, I think most men in the
church believe that God put them on the earth to be a good boy. The
problem with men, we are told, is that they don’t know how to keep
their promises, be spiritual leaders, talk to their wives, or raise
their children. But, if they will try real hard they can reach the
lofty summit of becoming . . . a nice guy. That’s what we hold up as
models of Christian maturity: Really Nice Guys. We don’t smoke, drink,
or swear; that’s what makes us men. Now let me ask my male
readers: In all your boyhood dreams growing up, did you ever dream of
becoming a Nice Guy? (Ladies, was the Prince of your dreams dashing . .
. or merely nice?)"
"Really now—do I
overstate my case? Walk into most churches in America, have a look
around, and ask yourself this question: What is a Christian man? Don’t
listen to what is said, look at what you find there. There is no doubt
about it. You’d have to admit a Christian man is . . . bored. At a
recent church retreat I was talking with a guy in his fifties,
listening really, about his own journey as a man. “I’ve pretty much
tried for the last twenty years to be a good man as the church defines
it.” Intrigued, I asked him to say what he thought that was. He paused
for a long moment. “Dutiful,” he said. “And separated from his heart.” A perfect description, I thought. Sadly right on the mark."
-Wild At Heart, John Eldredge